So.

Let's talk about religion.

I don't usually advertise the fact, but I'm 
actually a very religious person.

(Note that I don't make the claim that I am 
a "very spiritual person."  Very spiritual 
people are wishy washy losers who can neither 
stand on their own two feet, nor actually 
commit to following a specific religious 
path.  Essentially they are saying that they 
are fools who feel the need for guidance but 
do not have the motivation or intellect to 
seek out an appropriate path.  I hate them.  I 
especially hate them if they "believe in some 
kind of divine force" but feel that the 
force "is not quite like what organized 
religion says."  Fucking sissies.  Make up 
your own god damned god if you can't find a 
religion to suit you, but don't wallow in this 
heady morass of non-specific spirituality.)

So, anyway.  I'm a very religious person, and I'd 
like to invite you all to cast aside your 
heretical faiths and join me on the one true 
and righteous path.

I'm afraid that I can't give any details, since I 
have powerful enemies almost everywhere, but I 
can tell you that it's a lot of fun, and it 
involves coconuts, as well as occasional 
nudity.

If you are interested in joining my cult, please 
send one dollar and a SASE to "Save the 
Hideous Demon Bat Wildlife Fund" C/O NVT 
Press, Carcosa, Aldebaran, The Hyades... or e-mail me.