The Parable of the Drunk With a Gun

Once there was a man armed with shotgun and a bottle of Jack Daniels. He was in a foul mood, and this might have been because the bottle of Jack Daniels (his second favorite possession, the gun being his first) was almost empty.

The man was very drunk. Stupid drunk. Bad drunk. Violent drunk.

Killing drunk.

The man went outside with his shotgun and saw his neighbor, mowing the lawn. His neighbor was a decent guy... friendly, polite and hard working. There wasn't anything too special about him; he was just an all around okay sort of guy.

The drunk man shot him in the head with the shotgun from a distance of about five feet, and he died without a sound.

The drunk reloaded his shotgun and walked on until he got to his boss' house. His boss was not a decent guy... he was arrogant, deceitful and manipulative. He cheated his clients, and he never gave Christmas bonuses. He also had bad breath.

The drunk man knocked on the door, and when his boss opened it, he unloaded the shotgun into him. First shot to the belly, second shot to the neck and chin. He died without a sound.

The drunk man rechambered his shotgun and walked downtown. At one of the newsstands, there was a police officer, buying a magazine. The drunk man didn't know it, but the police officer was better than a decent guy. He was a great guy. He was a loving father and husband, he spent his off hours doing volunteer work for a local nursing home, he tithed 10% of his income to his church, and he tried his very hardest to be tolerant and kind to everyone he met, even if he didn't really understand them.

The drunk man shot him in the back with the shotgun at almost point blank range. He died without a sound. Later in the day, the newspaper vendor, still badly shaken, would pour some coffee from the thermos he kept on the counter only to find that there was still a spatter of tacky, drying blood smeared across the top of his coffee cup.

By that point, the drunk with the gun would already be dead, but that doesn't really make much of a difference, does it?










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