In my guestbook, Zeda writes:

Name: Zeda
E-Mail: [email protected]
Comments: I hereby donate my eternal soul to your Soul Drive. Well, what's left of it after sixteen years of jaded, angsty, bitter, hate-filled existence. But hey, Microsoft needs it more than I do. ~_^

Thank you Zeda. Take comfort in knowing that you have made a noble sacrifice to a noble cause. You can demonstrate your courageous dedication by taking a banner.

Readers, you should all visit Zeda here. If you don't, you'll burn in hell... unless you've already stripped yourself of your spiritual baggage.

In my guestbook, Dave writes:

Name: Dave
E-Mail:
Comments: I would donate my soul, but it's already been split up into 4 parts and then lost. I registered on a site called Soul XChange a year or so ago, and 4 different people bought up my soul, and then the site went under. If you can think of a way I can get my soul back, you're more than welcome to it.

You're in luck Dave. Souls are indivisible: they cannot be split into multiple portions. By allowing multiple consumers to pay for portions of your soul, SoulXChange voided any implicit contract you had with them. Furthermore, they are probably guilty of fraud... which is, no doubt, why their site went under.

Your soul is your own Dave, and it always has been... at least until now. Thank you for your donation, and rest assured that your soul is in good hands.

You can grab a banner if you'd like. Spread the good word!

(Readers -- Dave's story should serve as a cautionary tale for all of you: beware of frauds and fakes, and don't just let any old person handle your soul. There is only one reputable earthly soul dealer available. You know it's true.)

In my guestbook, some anonymous shmuck writes:

Name:
E-mail:
Comments: this is fucking lame

Anonymous shmuck: Thank you for your semi-literate words of encouragement. You score full points for turning your paper in on time, but I'm afraid that your poor punctuation and lack of capitalization lower your final grade to a D. I am pleased to note that there were no spelling errors in your work; then again, how hard can it be to make it through a four word sentence without a glaring error?

Please feel free to come back when you've learned how to engage in proper discourse. I welcome criticism... but only from people who are operating on an intellectual level surpassing that of a minimally retarded middle schooler.

By the way, while you were here, I spit on your soul.

Thanks again to Zeda and Dave. They have been added to my donor's page.

The guestbook has been slightly modified to make it more soul-donor friendly. If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail me.

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