It was the best movie ever.

It had magical tequila, ESP, lame 80s thugs, devils, possession, kidnapping, unholy tattoos, undead Nazi biker cops, reincarnation, ghosts, fat strippers, rabid sheep, homosexual convicts, Charon, star wars porn and a fire-breathing satanic Mexican general who bit people in the nuts.

I learned important things from this movie. I learned that Hell is a hispanic dance party.

This movie had everything I could possibly hope for except for Bruce Campbell. And a plot.