They live in your nose, and enforce your 
obedience.

They go by many names... nasalites, shnoz 
monsters, booger beasts, mucous demons...

You know what I'm talking about: snot goblins.

They lurk deep inside your nasal passageways, 
clinging to the delicate tissue, whispering 
their hateful, conspiracy implanted directives 
into your brain:

The government is your friend.  Shouldn't you 
go out and get a job?  Homosexuals are damned 
forever.  Get a haircut, you damned hippy.  
DON'T PICK YOUR NOSE!

These abominations must be rooted out at 
the source!  Keep your nose clean and pure!  
Even if you aren't infected, it is likely that 
your friends or family members are... don't 
accept their meager reassurances; by this 
point they could be little more than puppets 
for the obscene parasite peering out from 
their nostrils.

There is only one way to be sure, and that is to 
examine everyone yourself.  Remain vigilant!  
Do not rest until you have made absolutely, 
positively certain that none of your 
acquaintances or companions are infected.

Act now, while your thoughts are still your own.